Your writing is so beautiful Rob, and I am so grateful for every piece you put out and find myself wanting to share them with everyone I know. I'm going to have wild horses the song, and wild horses your piece of writing stuck in my head for the rest of the day now.
Thank you, Wendy! I so appreciate your reading, sharing, and offering such kinds words. Your recollections of childhood and teen years are an inspiration to me, for sure.
It seems like so many of us over 40 had a childhood that was wild and feral in one way or another. I sometimes wonder if I've gone too far the other way with my own kids...
That’s heartening to hear, Rob. As you said, the more we read of other people’s experiences, the more connected our own become, though on the surface they might seem very different. I’ve never galloped on a horse and my parents stuck with each other through thick and thin. But I felt every word of your writing.
Hopefully, we’re getting the balance of feral vs secure right with our own families.
This is such a beautiful story. I’ve just reread it & enjoyed it all over again. I can’t help wondering if you came to the conclusion through introspection or through therapy?
That's so lovely to hear, thank you, Carrie. And a very good question. I don't have an easy answer, but it seems to me that what's changed me the most was losing my parents, and then in the wake of that, lots of reading, and long walks with friends, and some therapy, too. Even that, though, feels like too pat of an answer.
In a way it seems like getting older has provided a more constant reminder of the impermanence of everything and everyone, and following that, the sense that everyone really is doing their best in an often difficult life, and that we're all deserving of love and grace. I find myself forgetting and remembering this, over and over... but the older I get, the more often I remember.
I so appreciate your reading, and asking such a beautiful question.
Brilliant essay, Rob. You had me at: "Before the indictments, the conviction, and everything else..." Great hook.
I really like the vivid nature of your description "riding" that galloping horse, and the way you tie it in with life: sometimes you have to just hang on...
Wow, Rob. This piece took me on a wild ride! I realized I was even holding my breath until the last few paragraphs when I could finally exhale. Such a powerful conclusion. I love the whole thing. Thank you for sharing. ❤️
Gosh, this is wonderful writing! And yes, we are all hanging on, doing our best. You certainly had a wild childhood. I’m not ready to really write about mine yet… There were idyllic moments and pretty mad moments too. Thanks for this!
Thank you, Francesca. I so appreciate your reading, and taking the time to leave such a lovely comment. We're all doing our best, indeed. I forget that often, of course.
It's hard to write about childhood, for sure. We all have so much to try to make sense of. Anyway, I've subscribed to your stack, and am looking forward to reading more.
Your horse ride on Dunk Island is a wonderful metaphor for life Rob. It seems very human that when we’re just walking through life we can’t wait to go at a gallop and then when that happens we can’t wait to make it stop - or at least slow down.
No, I haven’t been to Dunk but I went to Great Keppel Is. back in its heyday in the early 80s. It too is abandoned now but not because of a cyclone more a financial mess. Don’t know about the current state of Dunk but it would be nice to think the iconic blue butterfly will one day rise phoenix like from the ruins.
Yes, the blue butterfly! Great Keppel looks stunning, as well. Australia's spoiled for choice with intensely beautiful islands along that Queensland coast.
Great catch, Peter—it was Dunk Island. I read that the resort was destroyed by a cyclone in 2011, unfortunately. I hope they rebuild, or at least reopen camping there, as it's a magical spot. Have you been? I watched this guy take a little tour of the damage, which was surreal: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rj_zbvFOyVU
And great point, we often wish for or seek out the wild ride that might feel too much when we're in it. So glad the piece connected, and to read your comment. Thanks very much!
Beautiful writing and life observation Rob. Aren’t we all doing the best we can?
“Over decades, with seasons of loss, joy, chaos, and occasional calm, I began to remember differently, to see differently. We were all often just hanging on…”
Thanks so much, James. And yes, we're all doing our very best, at all times. It took me a while to understand that. I always appreciate your thoughtful and kind comments. 🙏
Yes, I have had the wild uncertainties without the changing of fathers. Feast or famine. Buying horses one day and hiding behind the sofa or in the kitchen from the hire purchase man who expected to be paid. the next. He either got a wodge, which brought his delighted if incredulous reaction or it was the silent house pretending to be empty. For our parents it was either drinking fine wines and champagne and staying at all the top hotels or my mother putting Red Seal Margarine on the toast having convinced the younger ones that they didn’t like butter. There was so much love and affection amongst us all. There were books and wild swing music and attendance at the theatre from where the board treading, fascinating actors would come and stay with us before they found digs. Dogs, cats and horses, council houses and almost mansions. Variety was life itself not just the spice of it. There’s a lot to be said for variety as a child. It certainly saves you from the slings and arrows because, somehow miraculously, you know that as the finger having writ moves on, it goes to better outcomes as well as lesser ones. I loved your story, an even more unusual childhood than ours and without the secure stabilising certainty of two
parents who loved each other and all of their family.
I was craving a good read tonight and browsing different publications I follow and saw that I missed your newest post and it did not disappoint. You are a wonderful writer Rob. It is just the right amount of everything - honest, insightful, funny, exciting, suspenseful, descriptive, meaningful. Thank you for putting in what it takes to make his piece - (the writing but really everything that truly went into this piece that has nothing to do with writing.)
Your writing is so beautiful Rob, and I am so grateful for every piece you put out and find myself wanting to share them with everyone I know. I'm going to have wild horses the song, and wild horses your piece of writing stuck in my head for the rest of the day now.
Thank you so much, Sarah. This is so lovely to read.
Wow, what an unexpected turn of events! Love how you walked us through this one, Rob! What a childhood!
Thank you, Cherie! I appreciate it.
This is how I feel too.
It is entirely unsurprising that this turned out wonderfully. Gripping, poetic, masterful stuff. Classic Rob Tourtelot writing.
Thanks so much, man. 🙏
Aw shit, great piece!
Thanks, Joey!
"How to laugh in the roaring wind." You've just teed up a goal of such elegance I might be pursuing it for life.
Aw, thank you Rick. I appreciate your support, as always.
Phew - good one. Really loving these missives.
Thank you, Mia! x
Oh my, this was a wild and chaotic ride, Rob. What a way to grow up. Glad you had your sister galloping alongside. A really good read, thank you.
Thank you, Wendy! I so appreciate your reading, sharing, and offering such kinds words. Your recollections of childhood and teen years are an inspiration to me, for sure.
It seems like so many of us over 40 had a childhood that was wild and feral in one way or another. I sometimes wonder if I've gone too far the other way with my own kids...
That’s heartening to hear, Rob. As you said, the more we read of other people’s experiences, the more connected our own become, though on the surface they might seem very different. I’ve never galloped on a horse and my parents stuck with each other through thick and thin. But I felt every word of your writing.
Hopefully, we’re getting the balance of feral vs secure right with our own families.
This is such a beautiful story. I’ve just reread it & enjoyed it all over again. I can’t help wondering if you came to the conclusion through introspection or through therapy?
That's so lovely to hear, thank you, Carrie. And a very good question. I don't have an easy answer, but it seems to me that what's changed me the most was losing my parents, and then in the wake of that, lots of reading, and long walks with friends, and some therapy, too. Even that, though, feels like too pat of an answer.
In a way it seems like getting older has provided a more constant reminder of the impermanence of everything and everyone, and following that, the sense that everyone really is doing their best in an often difficult life, and that we're all deserving of love and grace. I find myself forgetting and remembering this, over and over... but the older I get, the more often I remember.
I so appreciate your reading, and asking such a beautiful question.
Brilliant essay, Rob. You had me at: "Before the indictments, the conviction, and everything else..." Great hook.
I really like the vivid nature of your description "riding" that galloping horse, and the way you tie it in with life: sometimes you have to just hang on...
Thanks so much, Larry. Good to see you here.
Wow, Rob. This piece took me on a wild ride! I realized I was even holding my breath until the last few paragraphs when I could finally exhale. Such a powerful conclusion. I love the whole thing. Thank you for sharing. ❤️
Thanks, Jenn—I really appreciate the read, and loved hearing how it landed. Thanks so much for sharing, as well!
Brilliant. So beautiful.
This reminded me of Hillbilly Elegy. I just wanted to hug you and your sister. So sublime is your writing.
Thank you, Kathy. This is lovely to read. I appreciate your being here!
Gosh, this is wonderful writing! And yes, we are all hanging on, doing our best. You certainly had a wild childhood. I’m not ready to really write about mine yet… There were idyllic moments and pretty mad moments too. Thanks for this!
Thank you, Francesca. I so appreciate your reading, and taking the time to leave such a lovely comment. We're all doing our best, indeed. I forget that often, of course.
It's hard to write about childhood, for sure. We all have so much to try to make sense of. Anyway, I've subscribed to your stack, and am looking forward to reading more.
Thank you so much for subscribing 🤗
Your horse ride on Dunk Island is a wonderful metaphor for life Rob. It seems very human that when we’re just walking through life we can’t wait to go at a gallop and then when that happens we can’t wait to make it stop - or at least slow down.
No, I haven’t been to Dunk but I went to Great Keppel Is. back in its heyday in the early 80s. It too is abandoned now but not because of a cyclone more a financial mess. Don’t know about the current state of Dunk but it would be nice to think the iconic blue butterfly will one day rise phoenix like from the ruins.
Yes, the blue butterfly! Great Keppel looks stunning, as well. Australia's spoiled for choice with intensely beautiful islands along that Queensland coast.
Great catch, Peter—it was Dunk Island. I read that the resort was destroyed by a cyclone in 2011, unfortunately. I hope they rebuild, or at least reopen camping there, as it's a magical spot. Have you been? I watched this guy take a little tour of the damage, which was surreal: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rj_zbvFOyVU
And great point, we often wish for or seek out the wild ride that might feel too much when we're in it. So glad the piece connected, and to read your comment. Thanks very much!
What a life!
That's what I love about Substack. The more I read from people, the more I think that about everyone's life. Thanks for reading, as always!
Beautiful writing and life observation Rob. Aren’t we all doing the best we can?
“Over decades, with seasons of loss, joy, chaos, and occasional calm, I began to remember differently, to see differently. We were all often just hanging on…”
Thank you for this.
Thanks so much, James. And yes, we're all doing our very best, at all times. It took me a while to understand that. I always appreciate your thoughtful and kind comments. 🙏
Yes, I have had the wild uncertainties without the changing of fathers. Feast or famine. Buying horses one day and hiding behind the sofa or in the kitchen from the hire purchase man who expected to be paid. the next. He either got a wodge, which brought his delighted if incredulous reaction or it was the silent house pretending to be empty. For our parents it was either drinking fine wines and champagne and staying at all the top hotels or my mother putting Red Seal Margarine on the toast having convinced the younger ones that they didn’t like butter. There was so much love and affection amongst us all. There were books and wild swing music and attendance at the theatre from where the board treading, fascinating actors would come and stay with us before they found digs. Dogs, cats and horses, council houses and almost mansions. Variety was life itself not just the spice of it. There’s a lot to be said for variety as a child. It certainly saves you from the slings and arrows because, somehow miraculously, you know that as the finger having writ moves on, it goes to better outcomes as well as lesser ones. I loved your story, an even more unusual childhood than ours and without the secure stabilising certainty of two
parents who loved each other and all of their family.
I was craving a good read tonight and browsing different publications I follow and saw that I missed your newest post and it did not disappoint. You are a wonderful writer Rob. It is just the right amount of everything - honest, insightful, funny, exciting, suspenseful, descriptive, meaningful. Thank you for putting in what it takes to make his piece - (the writing but really everything that truly went into this piece that has nothing to do with writing.)