I grew up in an APARTMENT in NYC, Rob. I have no clue how it all works. I finally had to learn about transponders and voltage and electrical boxes, and when and why you might need a new one, and also surge protectors a couple of months ago when everything in my house went haywire. I spent a lot of time googling because it’s already bad enough the way these guys assume if you’re a woman you don’t know shit. It so happens I didn’t know shit about any of it, but I was gonna be damned to let them know that 🤣 I loved this. Late to it. Thanks for giving me a laugh on a very depressing day in America 😩
Thanks so much, Ally—it's all very confusing after living in an NYC apartment, isn't it? I was vaguely aware of some kind of machinery under the building, but I never knew about any of it.
My kids asked me recently about all the water towers on NYC building tops, and I again had to demonstrate never having actually thought about it too deeply. The water comes out of the tap, that part I'm sure of. Who knows how it actually gets there, and if those towers are involved.
Anyway, so glad the piece gave you a laugh. Thank you for sharing it.
What a day, indeed. We're all gonna need each other. 💛
Terrifying fact, I climbed up to the top of the water tower on the roof of my building with my friends when we were in high school. Like a bunch of jackasses. That’s about as much thought as I gave to the water towers and how it all worked lol. Thankfully no one ever got hurt. And yes, we really are going to need each other. Sigh, sob, solidarity 🤍
Ha - great read, Rob - very funny but painfully relatable.
I am just hopeless at practical tasks. I was unsuccessful in my attempt to install a new smoke alarm at the weekend and had to rope in my dad and his electric drill (again.) Shameful. He is of the generation that can do everything around the house without issue, so I have no idea what happened to me!
Haha I'm glad to hear it's not just me. My father-in-law is unbelievably handy, and I feel a bit embarrassed at how little I know when he visits. But then I think well, HIS dad navigated a bomber in WWII, while my father-in-law would be screwed without his satnav, so maybe we're all falling short a bit.
Ahh, thank you Rob. Lot of laughs on this one. Reminds me of that great exchange in Mr Mom when Jack Butler plans to rewire the whole wing. “220, 221, whatever it takes” 😆
On the flip side, a clueless middle-aged mom from California once called the FIRE DEPARTMENT to her Brooklyn apartment because "um, the boiler is making strange noises?" I guess she was worried it would blow up during her baby's naptime or something ...anyhow as the story goes, before too long no less than 7 strapping young firefighters showed up and streamed into her ...apartment... armed with brawn and pickaxes and other appendages. They laughed at her about the boiler "that's just the sound they make sometimes, Ma'am," but in the end she wasn't sorry to have called...
It's a relief to know that I'm not the only Testosterone American who is fairly clueless about everything DIY. (We should start a club. Or a support group.)
I especially like the pace of the dialog (my peepers like dancing down the page), the brief background graf ("raised by wolves) and the problem that you solved.
I love this. It’s always me that has to deal with workmen when they come to fix things. It’s a confusing business sorting out burst pipes, faulty light switches and I know we need our chimney swept…..it has been years. Shhhh.
"Whenever I’m in there, there’s often this one customer chatting at the counter, a bearish titan of a man who looks like he demos houses with his fists. It’s always in front of him that I’m called up to ask something dumb."
He gets around. He's always behind me in the queue at my local hardware store, too.
You've made me smile, Rob!
I've just googled HVAC filters as I'm wondering whether I have one and if so, whether it's ever been changed. Nope. I don't spot one of those.
Boilers yes, though. I know about the oil, but had a similar thing with a boiler a new house, where I had no idea the pressure needed to be "topped up". That was a revelation!
I don't like getting on ladders, either. I feel like I want a safety harness if I'm more than three feet off the ground. Glad you related to this one. Thanks, as always, for reading and commenting.
I'm glad the hardware store clerks could get you squared away. It can be intimidating walking into any shop where you don't know the lingo. The sales people can either make you feel like a child or they can do their job and make you a repeat customer.
Yes, the folks at our local hardware store are the greatest. It's my favorite store anywhere for that reason. They've since talked me through building a treehouse for the kids, and a whole bunch of other stuff. I still don't know the lingo, but I'm always happy to give them a good laugh in exchange for all their help.
I grew up in an APARTMENT in NYC, Rob. I have no clue how it all works. I finally had to learn about transponders and voltage and electrical boxes, and when and why you might need a new one, and also surge protectors a couple of months ago when everything in my house went haywire. I spent a lot of time googling because it’s already bad enough the way these guys assume if you’re a woman you don’t know shit. It so happens I didn’t know shit about any of it, but I was gonna be damned to let them know that 🤣 I loved this. Late to it. Thanks for giving me a laugh on a very depressing day in America 😩
Thanks so much, Ally—it's all very confusing after living in an NYC apartment, isn't it? I was vaguely aware of some kind of machinery under the building, but I never knew about any of it.
My kids asked me recently about all the water towers on NYC building tops, and I again had to demonstrate never having actually thought about it too deeply. The water comes out of the tap, that part I'm sure of. Who knows how it actually gets there, and if those towers are involved.
Anyway, so glad the piece gave you a laugh. Thank you for sharing it.
What a day, indeed. We're all gonna need each other. 💛
Terrifying fact, I climbed up to the top of the water tower on the roof of my building with my friends when we were in high school. Like a bunch of jackasses. That’s about as much thought as I gave to the water towers and how it all worked lol. Thankfully no one ever got hurt. And yes, we really are going to need each other. Sigh, sob, solidarity 🤍
That moment in the hardware store: You were me and more men than would like to admit! Love your posts, Rob.
Thank you, Simon!
Ha - great read, Rob - very funny but painfully relatable.
I am just hopeless at practical tasks. I was unsuccessful in my attempt to install a new smoke alarm at the weekend and had to rope in my dad and his electric drill (again.) Shameful. He is of the generation that can do everything around the house without issue, so I have no idea what happened to me!
Haha I'm glad to hear it's not just me. My father-in-law is unbelievably handy, and I feel a bit embarrassed at how little I know when he visits. But then I think well, HIS dad navigated a bomber in WWII, while my father-in-law would be screwed without his satnav, so maybe we're all falling short a bit.
Hilarious! So good, I feel that way every day! What is an HVAC? lol
So glad you liked it. I'm gonna have to call the guys at Williams or use Perplexity to answer any questions, though.
Ahh, thank you Rob. Lot of laughs on this one. Reminds me of that great exchange in Mr Mom when Jack Butler plans to rewire the whole wing. “220, 221, whatever it takes” 😆
Thank you, Matt! An all-time classic, and one that obviously feels all too relatable.
Ha! You and I are a lot alike, my friend.
I'm not even a little surprised!
On the flip side, a clueless middle-aged mom from California once called the FIRE DEPARTMENT to her Brooklyn apartment because "um, the boiler is making strange noises?" I guess she was worried it would blow up during her baby's naptime or something ...anyhow as the story goes, before too long no less than 7 strapping young firefighters showed up and streamed into her ...apartment... armed with brawn and pickaxes and other appendages. They laughed at her about the boiler "that's just the sound they make sometimes, Ma'am," but in the end she wasn't sorry to have called...
Haha, that is fantastic. And yes, it's always, always better to call.
So funny - same thing happened to me with the oil being out and thinking the heater was broken. We’ve come a long way…
It's a rite of passage when leaving NYC. I'm just glad we survived the first winter.
It's a relief to know that I'm not the only Testosterone American who is fairly clueless about everything DIY. (We should start a club. Or a support group.)
I especially like the pace of the dialog (my peepers like dancing down the page), the brief background graf ("raised by wolves) and the problem that you solved.
Thank you, Larry!
I love this. It’s always me that has to deal with workmen when they come to fix things. It’s a confusing business sorting out burst pipes, faulty light switches and I know we need our chimney swept…..it has been years. Shhhh.
It's all very confusing! And these houses don't come with manuals. All I know about chimney sweeping comes from Dick Van Dyke.
Thank you for reading. Good to see you here.
This reminds me of the time I was certain that a chimney sweep hadn't done a decent job, so I insisted I finish it myself.
Shrugging, he said, "Fine. Soot yourself..."
"Whenever I’m in there, there’s often this one customer chatting at the counter, a bearish titan of a man who looks like he demos houses with his fists. It’s always in front of him that I’m called up to ask something dumb."
He gets around. He's always behind me in the queue at my local hardware store, too.
You've made me smile, Rob!
I've just googled HVAC filters as I'm wondering whether I have one and if so, whether it's ever been changed. Nope. I don't spot one of those.
Boilers yes, though. I know about the oil, but had a similar thing with a boiler a new house, where I had no idea the pressure needed to be "topped up". That was a revelation!
So many revelations. And they're still coming.
Thanks, as always, for reading—and sharing. Glad it made you smile.
Oh thank you my friend for this good laugh first thing in the day. Trying to stifle my audible chortles so I don't wake everyone else up.
Amazing, thank you, Rick.
Rob, I’m in the pea pod 🫛 with you. Soooo unhandy. But, at my age I don’t get on ladders anymore!
I don't like getting on ladders, either. I feel like I want a safety harness if I'm more than three feet off the ground. Glad you related to this one. Thanks, as always, for reading and commenting.
I'm glad the hardware store clerks could get you squared away. It can be intimidating walking into any shop where you don't know the lingo. The sales people can either make you feel like a child or they can do their job and make you a repeat customer.
Yes, the folks at our local hardware store are the greatest. It's my favorite store anywhere for that reason. They've since talked me through building a treehouse for the kids, and a whole bunch of other stuff. I still don't know the lingo, but I'm always happy to give them a good laugh in exchange for all their help.