Your writing makes me feel like I am watching a film, the focus zeroing in on the main character, blurring what's in the distance, then switching, making vivid the background, blurring the foreground, and weaving me back and forth between the action, the backstory, the inner life of the protagonist and bringing me to rest on a simple anchoring moment that doesn't tell me what to think, just an invitation to feel the whole thing.
I relate sooo much to this! My ex-husband once came into our bedroom where I was listening to my typical melancholic music and he said, “I think you *like* being sad.” But it’s much more than that, just as you described so beautifully.
If you haven’t read “Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole” by Susan Cain, I highly recommend it! The cover is even blue. ☺️
Before remarking on the precision and beauty of what you've woven together here, Rob, I want to acknowledge what appears to be your breadth of knowledge about music. Though I describe myself as drawn to music, and having been immersed in it through my mother, I've never been as capable as I wish of listing out songs, lyrics, themes from memory. Impressive!
Okay, so precision and beauty...I appreciate how you found words to describe why you connect with what I'll call the undertones of life. I think it's how some folks process and find a way to be at peace with the ever-present hardships. I'm also reassured by the reminder that the terribly sad songs (and books) one of my grown--and very sensitive--daughters chooses are really just that: her way of coming to terms.
Thank you for this, Elizabeth. What a beautiful comment to receive. I love "the undertones of life." That rings true to me. I'm so pleased that you found this piece, and to hear from you. I always love your writing, so it's especially good to know that this connected.
This is so beautiful and reminds me so much of my own daughter - now 19 and in college - who, like me, also tends toward the melancholic. If you haven’t yet, listen to Adrienne Lenker - “Sadness is a gift.” It was her senior year anthem basically - and mine when she left for college at Sarah Lawrence. The gen z’s love her. Just discovered your substack and excited to keep reading!!!
We love Adrienne Lenker in our house (thanks to my daughter, of course). I don't know if I know that track—I'll give it a listen, thank you. And I'm so glad to have you reading along, Karen. I appreciate the kind words.
I relate to this so much! I think having a melancholy streak is a creative superpower. And I'm married to a living ray of sunshine who doesn't really get why someone would purposely embrace what is bittersweet. Beautiful story; I love the way you show your relationship with your daughter.
Thanks so much, Tina. So glad this one resonated. It's good to hear you're also with a ray of sunshine. I've noticed many times over the years where we've balanced each other out. Thank you for this lovely and thoughtful comment.
Rob I think this is beautiful. When I was five I used to listen to the Beatles with my Dad. My favorite song was She’s Got a Ticket to Ride, and I sang it over and over again. My dad played guitar and then he switched to banjo and so I spent the next 10 years listening to Bluegrass, for better or worse. Now he has developed dementia and rarely is able to play, but I’ll forever have Bluegrass and the Beatles in my bones. Music and people are truly among the richest, beautiful and heartbreaking elements of life.
Lovely memories, Emily. I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. I’ve gone through two parents with dementia, and it’s unbelievably hard. I agree, music and people, music and people 💙
Oh my heart. What a gorgeous piece of writing. The joy, the sadness, the way they are all tangled up. As a human with Damien Rice and Leonard Cohen as two of my top played artists, I resonate so much with this. (And also I almost always paint in blue).
I've seen your paintings—they're absolutely magic. I so appreciate this comment, and the share. Made my weekend. And YES to Damien Rice and Leonard Cohen.
Thank you, Andy! I really appreciate your reading and commenting. I'm glad to know about your obviously excellent taste in music. My daughter and I are both thrilled that The Cure's coming back out on tour, and there are always rumors about Radiohead. Let's hope. 🤞
You’re most welcome, Rob. Honestly, it’s such a fantastic piece of writing.
I’m a big fan of the new album by The Cure - pretty bleak but some great tracks. Had it on in the car with the boys yesterday.
Have you listened to The Smile? I loved Wall Of Eyes earlier this year and Cutouts has some great stuff on it. Helping to scratch the Radiohead itch for now!
Good ol' Robert Smith sounds as good as ever on the new album, doesn't he? The only song I've heard was a bit atmospheric. I need to give it a proper listen. The Smile's growing on me. I haven't gotten into Cutouts yet—will check it out!
Rob, so many elements of this piece to comment on. The one that stands out is what an amazing husband, father and human being you are, not to mention, writer. You help me become better in all these areas too. 🙏
Thank you, Charlie. That's so kind of you. I really appreciate your reading, and taking the time to leave a comment. (And I did check the dialogue with both Emma and Evie to make sure they felt accurately represented!)
Your writing makes me feel like I am watching a film, the focus zeroing in on the main character, blurring what's in the distance, then switching, making vivid the background, blurring the foreground, and weaving me back and forth between the action, the backstory, the inner life of the protagonist and bringing me to rest on a simple anchoring moment that doesn't tell me what to think, just an invitation to feel the whole thing.
Thank you, Rick. What a comment to receive.
I relate sooo much to this! My ex-husband once came into our bedroom where I was listening to my typical melancholic music and he said, “I think you *like* being sad.” But it’s much more than that, just as you described so beautifully.
If you haven’t read “Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole” by Susan Cain, I highly recommend it! The cover is even blue. ☺️
That book changed my life!
Thanks so much, Jenn. I'll definitely check it out. Sounds like the perfect read.
Before remarking on the precision and beauty of what you've woven together here, Rob, I want to acknowledge what appears to be your breadth of knowledge about music. Though I describe myself as drawn to music, and having been immersed in it through my mother, I've never been as capable as I wish of listing out songs, lyrics, themes from memory. Impressive!
Okay, so precision and beauty...I appreciate how you found words to describe why you connect with what I'll call the undertones of life. I think it's how some folks process and find a way to be at peace with the ever-present hardships. I'm also reassured by the reminder that the terribly sad songs (and books) one of my grown--and very sensitive--daughters chooses are really just that: her way of coming to terms.
Thank you for this, Elizabeth. What a beautiful comment to receive. I love "the undertones of life." That rings true to me. I'm so pleased that you found this piece, and to hear from you. I always love your writing, so it's especially good to know that this connected.
Fist bumps of appreciation, Rob! ☺️
This is so beautiful and reminds me so much of my own daughter - now 19 and in college - who, like me, also tends toward the melancholic. If you haven’t yet, listen to Adrienne Lenker - “Sadness is a gift.” It was her senior year anthem basically - and mine when she left for college at Sarah Lawrence. The gen z’s love her. Just discovered your substack and excited to keep reading!!!
We love Adrienne Lenker in our house (thanks to my daughter, of course). I don't know if I know that track—I'll give it a listen, thank you. And I'm so glad to have you reading along, Karen. I appreciate the kind words.
I relate to this so much! I think having a melancholy streak is a creative superpower. And I'm married to a living ray of sunshine who doesn't really get why someone would purposely embrace what is bittersweet. Beautiful story; I love the way you show your relationship with your daughter.
Thanks so much, Tina. So glad this one resonated. It's good to hear you're also with a ray of sunshine. I've noticed many times over the years where we've balanced each other out. Thank you for this lovely and thoughtful comment.
Rob I think this is beautiful. When I was five I used to listen to the Beatles with my Dad. My favorite song was She’s Got a Ticket to Ride, and I sang it over and over again. My dad played guitar and then he switched to banjo and so I spent the next 10 years listening to Bluegrass, for better or worse. Now he has developed dementia and rarely is able to play, but I’ll forever have Bluegrass and the Beatles in my bones. Music and people are truly among the richest, beautiful and heartbreaking elements of life.
Lovely memories, Emily. I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. I’ve gone through two parents with dementia, and it’s unbelievably hard. I agree, music and people, music and people 💙
This is so beautiful and honest and tender, and I just loved it all the way through, Rob.
Thanks so much, Ally. I appreciate your being here. 💙
Sad songs make it possible for me to let my own sadness in. I am grateful for the comfort they offer. This is a beautiful and elegantly crafted piece.
Thanks so much, Rona—that’s so kind of you. Glad to see you here. 💙
Oh my heart. What a gorgeous piece of writing. The joy, the sadness, the way they are all tangled up. As a human with Damien Rice and Leonard Cohen as two of my top played artists, I resonate so much with this. (And also I almost always paint in blue).
I've seen your paintings—they're absolutely magic. I so appreciate this comment, and the share. Made my weekend. And YES to Damien Rice and Leonard Cohen.
I…I had a couple of tears rolling down my cheeks. Thank you for the music (the best!) and making me feel happy-sad.
Oh, thank you, Brigitte. So happy that you gave this one a read. What a lovely comment.
I really enjoyed reading this Rob. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks so much, Mark. So happy that you enjoyed this one. Good to have you here.
Wonderful read, Rob (also, great taste in music!)
Thank you, Andy! I really appreciate your reading and commenting. I'm glad to know about your obviously excellent taste in music. My daughter and I are both thrilled that The Cure's coming back out on tour, and there are always rumors about Radiohead. Let's hope. 🤞
You’re most welcome, Rob. Honestly, it’s such a fantastic piece of writing.
I’m a big fan of the new album by The Cure - pretty bleak but some great tracks. Had it on in the car with the boys yesterday.
Have you listened to The Smile? I loved Wall Of Eyes earlier this year and Cutouts has some great stuff on it. Helping to scratch the Radiohead itch for now!
Good ol' Robert Smith sounds as good as ever on the new album, doesn't he? The only song I've heard was a bit atmospheric. I need to give it a proper listen. The Smile's growing on me. I haven't gotten into Cutouts yet—will check it out!
Love this one. Especially your daughter reassuring you after playing the sad song. My kid likes the Cure, Joy Division etc… and Raffi. Balance!
Thank you, Anna. Balance, always. I'm glad you're raising your son surrounded by music, too.
Rob, so many elements of this piece to comment on. The one that stands out is what an amazing husband, father and human being you are, not to mention, writer. You help me become better in all these areas too. 🙏
You're far too kind, James! I so appreciate your reading and always leaving such a thoughtful comment. What a wonderful note to receive.
Spectacular as always. Had me tearing up.
Thank you so much, Alex.
Beautiful, Rob. And the dialogue in that first part with your wife…that was so well done.
Thank you, Charlie. That's so kind of you. I really appreciate your reading, and taking the time to leave a comment. (And I did check the dialogue with both Emma and Evie to make sure they felt accurately represented!)