I love your daughter's reframe! It's beautiful that she can gift this perspective and hope back to you. Thanks for reminding us of the common humanity that's still around us in crises. Worries and negatives can so easily blind us to the goodness that's still around us. Thank heavens for your daughter!
This was beautifully written, and I know exactly the rage you feel when reckless drivers pass by you when you’ve got your kid in the car. I simply do not understand these men (almost always men) and this urge to be jackasses and scare other drivers.
Thank you so much, Joy. You're so right: it is pretty much always men. I'm glad you said that. I actually wrote an earlier draft that was far more about those kinds of men... but then I realized it was my daughter's take I wanted to focus on. Still, it's very hard. I sure wish it wasn't like that out there.
I don't know how I missed this one. Thanks so much for posting that. It certainly tracks with everything I've felt as a driver. It's not a very hopeful ending to the piece, understandably. I wonder what might reverse the trend.
Wow Rob. Feeling all your (doubt, fear, rage, hope, anxiety, care, love, pride) so near to father's day. I'll be thinking about this accident myself later today, and I wasn't even there!
Finally read this one. I have tears in my eyes. Have been mulling over this incident since you described it to me a few weeks ago. I was rattled by it and it wasn't even me and my daughter out there witnessing it. Your daughter's response is wise, she's a good teacher for you—and the rest of us.
Such a wise, aware daughter! I love the hope you find in the end because of all the people who stopped to help. I recently wrote about a serious accident I was in almost 30 years ago (when I had just started driving), and the thing that stood out to me too as I was processing it again this weekend was the number of people there to help us before I even got out of the car. I'm so grateful for their care that day. I'm glad you were able to help those involved in the accident too.
What a story. There is so much I admire in this: Your ability to be calm, composed, competent, and useful when the world around you is going to hell. Your ability to sidestep your ego and help the people who cut you off and put you and your daughter in harm's way. The wonderful father you are and the strong, smart daughter you raised. The wisdom in your daughter and how she helped you reframe the scary world in a more positive light. And the beautiful eloquence with which you wrote and shared this story.
Thanks so much, Jack. To be clear, I did not feel calm when in the back of the SUV--my heart was going like crazy, and I was doing box breathing to calm my own nervous system. I still get feel that any time someone's seriously injured. I think most of us do. The training at least gives us a next step we can always take, a sequence to follow, which helps us not freeze up. How is your own EMT training going?
I always appreciate your thoughtful comments, so thank you!
Nonetheless, you were calm *enough* to help and skilled enough to be useful :)
Box and 4-7-8 breathing are such great tools. Trying to remind myself to use them on a daily basis.
My own EMT training is on pause as I... A) Try to create my best writing, B) Try to find a job, C) Work on this website/gym business, and D) Try to engage in other human activities while enjoying summer. But it is something I will 100% return to.
I like the way your daughter looked at it: Reminds me of how, when I was in a hit and run, one person ran away but a bunch of people ran out of their homes at 3 in the morning to help me.
So much of this has been on my own mind lately -- the fears of letting go, the hope that things will all work out. Thank you for this story. And I must say, I'm not surprised one bit that you are raising such a wise and thoughtful human.
I love your daughter's reframe! It's beautiful that she can gift this perspective and hope back to you. Thanks for reminding us of the common humanity that's still around us in crises. Worries and negatives can so easily blind us to the goodness that's still around us. Thank heavens for your daughter!
Thank you, Victoria! She so often reminds me of things I'm happy to remember.
You've raised a wise daughter, Rob! Good for you both.
Thank you, Cherie! 🙏
This was beautifully written, and I know exactly the rage you feel when reckless drivers pass by you when you’ve got your kid in the car. I simply do not understand these men (almost always men) and this urge to be jackasses and scare other drivers.
Thank you so much, Joy. You're so right: it is pretty much always men. I'm glad you said that. I actually wrote an earlier draft that was far more about those kinds of men... but then I realized it was my daughter's take I wanted to focus on. Still, it's very hard. I sure wish it wasn't like that out there.
You're welcome. In case you didn't see this NYT article about the rise of reckless drivers:
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/01/10/magazine/dangerous-driving.html
I don't know how I missed this one. Thanks so much for posting that. It certainly tracks with everything I've felt as a driver. It's not a very hopeful ending to the piece, understandably. I wonder what might reverse the trend.
Another great read. You raised a smart and thoughtful young lady. Congrats!
Thanks, man! I listen to her as much as possible. Like Emma, she tends to be right the vast majority of the time.
Wow Rob. Feeling all your (doubt, fear, rage, hope, anxiety, care, love, pride) so near to father's day. I'll be thinking about this accident myself later today, and I wasn't even there!
Thanks, Rick—always so grateful for your thoughtful comments.
Finally read this one. I have tears in my eyes. Have been mulling over this incident since you described it to me a few weeks ago. I was rattled by it and it wasn't even me and my daughter out there witnessing it. Your daughter's response is wise, she's a good teacher for you—and the rest of us.
Thank you, Matt. So glad to have you reading along.
Such a wise, aware daughter! I love the hope you find in the end because of all the people who stopped to help. I recently wrote about a serious accident I was in almost 30 years ago (when I had just started driving), and the thing that stood out to me too as I was processing it again this weekend was the number of people there to help us before I even got out of the car. I'm so grateful for their care that day. I'm glad you were able to help those involved in the accident too.
Thank you, Jenn! I'm off to read your piece now. I'm always grateful for your thoughtful comments.
What a story. There is so much I admire in this: Your ability to be calm, composed, competent, and useful when the world around you is going to hell. Your ability to sidestep your ego and help the people who cut you off and put you and your daughter in harm's way. The wonderful father you are and the strong, smart daughter you raised. The wisdom in your daughter and how she helped you reframe the scary world in a more positive light. And the beautiful eloquence with which you wrote and shared this story.
Thanks for writing, Rob :)
Thanks so much, Jack. To be clear, I did not feel calm when in the back of the SUV--my heart was going like crazy, and I was doing box breathing to calm my own nervous system. I still get feel that any time someone's seriously injured. I think most of us do. The training at least gives us a next step we can always take, a sequence to follow, which helps us not freeze up. How is your own EMT training going?
I always appreciate your thoughtful comments, so thank you!
Nonetheless, you were calm *enough* to help and skilled enough to be useful :)
Box and 4-7-8 breathing are such great tools. Trying to remind myself to use them on a daily basis.
My own EMT training is on pause as I... A) Try to create my best writing, B) Try to find a job, C) Work on this website/gym business, and D) Try to engage in other human activities while enjoying summer. But it is something I will 100% return to.
My pleasure, I enjoy reading your work!
I like the way your daughter looked at it: Reminds me of how, when I was in a hit and run, one person ran away but a bunch of people ran out of their homes at 3 in the morning to help me.
So much of this has been on my own mind lately -- the fears of letting go, the hope that things will all work out. Thank you for this story. And I must say, I'm not surprised one bit that you are raising such a wise and thoughtful human.