"What a naive discovery, then, to learn that all of the love and support we surround our kids with hasn’t somehow inoculated them from having their hearts broken by the world."
I'm a fixer too. I'll have to get a tattoo that says, "Validate: 1) Of course, 2) It makes sense"
Pulled my heartstrings and made me laugh, such a great read Rob.
As a mother of a teen daughter, I really related to this. The way you write is so thick with atmosphere. I can feel the love, the heartache, the bittersweet moments with your daughter. Thank you for sharing.
This is so wonderful to read—thank you, Jenn. They are something, aren't they? Always challenging us in ways we couldn't possibly have expected. Lots of bittersweetness, always. Thank you so much for reading, and for reaching out. 🙏
I have a Dad who is a great listener and never tried to solve my problems. The older I get, the more grateful I am for it, especially as I move through the world and discover how rare it is. She's lucky to have you!
I love that, Libby. What a dad. I'm getting much better at remembering, but it's okay—if I ever do forget and even hint at something that sounds like fixing, my daughter's quick to remind me!
Beautiful. The logic of it, “listening with big ears” as an early sales colleague said to me, is what makes sense and is right. The parent nature to fix, the human nature to act, and any other pre-dispositions you bring to the situation complicate it.
My wife of 30+ years, and best friend for longer, said to me very early on, “I don’t need you to make it better, I just need you to listen”. Still need reminders of it, and this piece brings it forth again. Thank you for sharing.
Rob the title of this one matches my most recent essay! how crazy. but i do love this saying. it can be utilized in many moments. This was such good advice for me as my kids grow up. I've put "of course" and "it makes so much sense" in my parenting toolbox, I'll think of you when I pull them out :)
I love this so much. I was out walking earlier today, listening to a podcast on grief. The interviewee was speaking about as a culture we are so uncomfortable with pain, sorrow, and loss. Our own and one another's. We turn away from it, especially when we see our loved ones suffering. We want the heartache to disappear, we don't want them to hurt. When all we really can do is be there with them. To love on them, sit with them, and allow. And to give ourselves the safe space, love and allowance.
Yes, Paulette--this makes me so happy to read. I'm so glad it connected. As you said, giving someone our presence, love, and allowing what's there—it's the one of the best gifts we can give one another... and ourselves, too. So glad you're here. 🙏
Beautiful.
This.
"What a naive discovery, then, to learn that all of the love and support we surround our kids with hasn’t somehow inoculated them from having their hearts broken by the world."
I'm a fixer too. I'll have to get a tattoo that says, "Validate: 1) Of course, 2) It makes sense"
Pulled my heartstrings and made me laugh, such a great read Rob.
Thank you, Miche--and yes, I could use that tattoo, too. So glad this connected. Happy new year to you! 🙏
As a mother of a teen daughter, I really related to this. The way you write is so thick with atmosphere. I can feel the love, the heartache, the bittersweet moments with your daughter. Thank you for sharing.
This is so wonderful to read—thank you, Jenn. They are something, aren't they? Always challenging us in ways we couldn't possibly have expected. Lots of bittersweetness, always. Thank you so much for reading, and for reaching out. 🙏
I felt the love and heartache too Jenn!
Beautiful! Reading this reminded me of how much I leaned on my own Dad as a teen—nothing compares to the power of a Dad hug!
That's lovely to hear, Helen—thank you!
I have a Dad who is a great listener and never tried to solve my problems. The older I get, the more grateful I am for it, especially as I move through the world and discover how rare it is. She's lucky to have you!
I love that, Libby. What a dad. I'm getting much better at remembering, but it's okay—if I ever do forget and even hint at something that sounds like fixing, my daughter's quick to remind me!
Beautiful essay, Rob. Such lovely stories with apt and useful insights woven in. Very well written!
Thanks so much, Jack. I've often been inspired by the personal stories you bring to practices you've found helpful. Your support means a lot to me. 🙏
Beautiful. The logic of it, “listening with big ears” as an early sales colleague said to me, is what makes sense and is right. The parent nature to fix, the human nature to act, and any other pre-dispositions you bring to the situation complicate it.
My wife of 30+ years, and best friend for longer, said to me very early on, “I don’t need you to make it better, I just need you to listen”. Still need reminders of it, and this piece brings it forth again. Thank you for sharing.
Rob the title of this one matches my most recent essay! how crazy. but i do love this saying. it can be utilized in many moments. This was such good advice for me as my kids grow up. I've put "of course" and "it makes so much sense" in my parenting toolbox, I'll think of you when I pull them out :)
I love this so much. I was out walking earlier today, listening to a podcast on grief. The interviewee was speaking about as a culture we are so uncomfortable with pain, sorrow, and loss. Our own and one another's. We turn away from it, especially when we see our loved ones suffering. We want the heartache to disappear, we don't want them to hurt. When all we really can do is be there with them. To love on them, sit with them, and allow. And to give ourselves the safe space, love and allowance.
Yes, Paulette--this makes me so happy to read. I'm so glad it connected. As you said, giving someone our presence, love, and allowing what's there—it's the one of the best gifts we can give one another... and ourselves, too. So glad you're here. 🙏