20 Comments

Beautiful, Rob. And such a well articulated explanation of the kinds of positive changes that a meditation practice can bring . . . Sorry to hear about the broken bones! Heal well. ❤️

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Thank you, Lucy. Meditation's one of a number of things I saw you doing first and finally came around to. x

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You so nicely brought this piece home Rob. Love the finished draft.

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Thanks so much, Rick—your input, as always, was invaluable. 🙏

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Great piece. Always avoid, if possible, the second dart

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Thank you. And yes, Indeed. Not always easy, but I'm getting there, slowly.

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tuned into the worst radio station in the world... for decades. I have never heard of this first dart but I totally get the concept of second dart, over and over ad nauseum. As to why you skied the trees -- why not? Fresh tracks are worth it man. But the secret is -- don't look at the tree look at the space. Then you won't hit the tree...says the woman who is slowly learning this after being in a couple of tree wells upside down in deep powder...

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Yes! My favorite comment from people who saw me hobbling on crutches was from other skiers: "Still worth it, right?" The answer's yes. I wouldn't have traded those days skiing to have avoided even that injury. It's all part of the deal.

I'll remember the tree/space visual, thank you. I like that. This particular tree came up so fast (or I suppose it was me coming up fast), I have no idea what I was looking at. Either way, I'm glad we're both slowly learning, and keeping at it. 🎿

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It has taken me almost 4 decades to have any confidence in the trees but every time I come out I am stoked that I was in all that loveliness! Hope it healed up well.

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Amazing piece!

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Thanks so much, Sakul. Glad you enjoyed it.

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What a wonderful demonstration of bringing compassion to a loud part of you who is trying to protect you. Wow what a journey. Kudos to you for getting to where you are 🔥

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That's so fascinating, Meryl. I love the framing that all these "negative" aspects are just doing their job, trying to help, and protect. I learned a bit of that from Tara Brach, but would love to read more about IFS and parts. What's a good book to start with? I really appreciate your thoughtful comment. Thank you, as always, for reading along. 🙏

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Self Therapy by Jay Earley is a great self guided one - lots of prompts to meet your parts and you can do it with another person (like your partner or a close friend) too. Also ‘No Bad Parts’ by Richard Schwartz (the guy who came up with IFS) is excellent. There’s a great podcast called Live IFS too where you can listen to a therapist in action. Very revealing. I think IFS is such an accessible modality. Happy exploring! 🙏🏻

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This is fantastic, thank you! Looking forward to checking these out.

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💙

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So sorry about your situation, but so inspired by you. Thanks, Rob!

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Thanks so much, Cherie! 🙏

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I and almost everyone in my circle can certainly relate to this: "Beating myself up was my #1 activity." I had never heard of this Buddhist first/second dart concept before but I love it. I am great at beating myself up physically in the gym or mentally in between my ears. Learning to be more compassionate with yourself is a skill that I think can take many years to develop. Or at least it is taking me many years to develop. Thanks for sharing this, Rob.

Also, is there anything you haven't done? Muay Thai fighter, EMT, dad and husband, writer, tech entrepreneur, traveller, and so much more I'm sure I am unaware of. While some people never live one life before they die, you have lived many lifetimes in only half of one. I aspire to tread the same path, thank you for the inspiration.

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Yes, I sure wish they taught self-compassion in school—it'd save all of us a lot of time and unnecessary suffering. Kristin Neff is a psychologist who specializes in self-compassion, and is worth looking into. Anyway, I'm so glad this was inspiring. Thanks, as always, for reading along! 🙏

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